Where have all the good men gone - bad-ass-chick sucks

I always hear women complaining about “where have all the good men gone?”, so I did an internet search for this topic.  One of the first websites I came across was this pathetic excuse for an article on dating tips. 

I’ve broken the article down into separate parts and commented on it.  The original text is in italics; my response/comment is in plain text.  The complete original article

( http://www.badasschick.com/where-have-all-the-good-men-gone/ ) is at the very bottom (for posterity, in case the original author thinks the better of it and decides to delete it one day).

The article opens up like so:

“As a Badass Chick, you are an intelligent, independent, beautiful woman, confident in your sexuality”

This sounds like a very narrow demographic.  Though I’m sure most women have at least one of these traits, I’ll wager that a much smaller number of women have all of them.  Especially that last one.

I wonder if these women would be okay with a man being “independent” and “confident in his sexuality”.  Probably not – I think it would make them nervous.

“The underlying problem with The Dirty Seven [types of men] is a kind of selfishness that makes them incapable of giving your needs fair play. They lack empathy (the ability to put themselves in your shoes). They are looking for a relationship like you, but they are not capable of sustaining one.”

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.  Why is it that when men talk about their needs, they are told to suck it up?  Where is “fair play” then?  How come women never put themselves in our shoes?  Probably because they could not walk a day in them.  They are so accustomed to getting their own way that they couldn’t hack it (when the going gets tough, it’s men who have to constantly set aside their comfort and needs for the greater good because that’s what society expects of them.  In general, women in this society aren’t raised that way, so they would have a hard time with it).

“I categorized the Dirty Seven the way the scientist or naturalist describes species of insects or birds.”

So she is basically comparing men to animals; something less than human; an unfeeling specimen.  Nice one, lady.

“Don’t give up your freedom and happiness for these guys.”

Don’t worry – the feeling is mutual.

“They will always put you and your needs second or last.”

See the recurring theme here?  It’s all about HER.  What a sense of entitlement!

Why should men put your needs before theirs?  What makes you so special?  You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.  I’m not going to jeopardize my health or my career for you (who would take you out to nice fancy dinners if I did?).

“1.  ScarMan: Talks continuously about his ex and the past, to the exclusion of everything else, including you.”

This is more of an issue with women than men I think.  Everyone should stay away from these kinds of people (men or women).

“2.  SideMan: Married or living with someone but looking for some excitement on the side, with no intention of creating a real relationship.”

Really?  Does this category need be included, as if women don’t already know this?  I think it goes without saying that these men are not looking for a serious monogamous relationship – DUH!!!

So much for being an “intelligent” woman . . .

(But, if women are just looking for something physical, these guys are the way to go.  They tend to be disease free, stable, and not psychopaths.  Despite the drawback of being in another relationship, they are still a better catch than some of the single weirdos out in the dating scene.  Sad, isn’t it?)

“3.  CrazyMan: Has so many quirks, a hospital wing of psychotherapists couldn’t figure him out. He’ll drive you nuts if you give him a long-term try, so don’t start with him.”

Great, now can you tell us what exactly makes him crazy? (I thought there’d be more to this paragraph, but it just ends like that; it doesn't elaborate on what makes someone crazy).  Is that all?  Just avoid lunatic men?  Thanks professor, I did not realize that.

“4.  GuyMan: Likes guys better than girls but pretends to be straight. The fact that he is lying to you about it is what makes him one of The Dirty Seven.  Let him go on his journey of discovering his true identity without you.”

Oh snap – she did not just say that!  Does this bitch actually think that if a guy wants to hang out with his male friends that makes him gay?!  OMG!! – what is this bitch smoking?!  So let me get this straight: a man is expected to spend every single waking hour with the woman, or the woman’s “needs” are not being met?  What a goddamn selfish ho.  And by the way, the “it’s either me or your friends – what’s it gonna be” ultimatum does not sit well with men.  I would strongly advise against putting a man in this predicament.

And no honey, he is not lying to you –he actually would rather hang around with his friends and do fun things than have to spend all this time with you having to mind his every little move/gesture and pretending to enjoy himself.  That doesn’t make him gay.

I do agree with the last statement, though.  Do both him and yourself a favor and let him go on his journey on his own.  He doesn’t need you to discover himself, and when he does, by that time hopefully he will have found a woman who is deserving of the man he’s become.

“5.  YAPpie: (Young And Poor) have the benefit of youth on their side but not much else: No money and no job prospects. You pay for everything and drive him around too.

Do less for him. He is a species of parasite that survives by living off of women and will move on.”

I have no issue with the first statement – nobody wants someone who is broke with no prospects.  Regarding the second statement however: “You pay for everything and drive him around too” – now you know how WE feel. God forbid we don’t have a car and so you wouldn’t even give us a second look.

The third statement is just plain wrong: “Do less for him”.  Really?  Nice one, lady.  How about just NOT dating him in the first place, jackass?  And they say men are jerks!!

“6 OLMan: (Old Loser Man) is the YAPpie, grown older but not wiser. He has not provided for his future. He is looking to you to do that for him. He was lazy, selfish, and clueless in his youth and has remained the same in his old age.”

This also goes without saying.  But what do you mean he has not provided for his future?  Are you suppose to look through his portfolio or bank statements?  How do you know he was a YAPpie as a youth?  For all we know he was young go getter who got disillusioned.  Or maybe he gave all his money away to charity.  Really, you don’t know if he was selfish or clueless as a youth.  Bitch be crazy!

And the last so-called person to avoid, according to the author:

“7.  BagMan: Difficult children from different marriages some of whom live with him, multiple alimony payments, and lots of bitterness over past woes are just some of the baggage this man brings to the relationship.”

This sounds like a special case of the first category (“scar man”).  Of course she had to throw in that jab about alimony – again the author betrays her real concern - money (more payments to others means less money left over for HER).

And as if all this nonsense wasn’t enough – her piece continues!  Will this bitch ever STFU?!

“The good mate thinks about the “us” before he thinks about himself.  The relationship is foremost in his life and he shows you that it is.”

Oh, NOW it’s about ‘The Relationship’.  I thought a relationship meant TWO people.  So shouldn’t someone who is committed put the needs of both rather than just one?  Because if one suffers doesn’t the other?  She totally contradicts herself.  From her tone (and especially from the first sentence), I still think “us” is really a euphemism for (it’s all about) “me”.

“His life is not about his miserable self, self, self and he wants to do something to make things better in the world instead of being a drain on the system.”

So men caring about themselves is “miserable”.  Now who’s the parasite? (see man #5 above).  Do you know what happens to a man when he doesn’t take care of himself?  He becomes sick and miserable. That’s what this parasitic author fails to notice.

I think we can all guess who the REAL drain on the system is - a fault-finding shopaholic.

“He takes care of himself because he has self-respect.”

Now she contradicts herself and says it’s acceptable for him to take care of himself.  Pathetic!!

“Money is not what motivates him”

No, but it’s what motivates women like the author.  So that’s why the man feels the need to make money.  Otherwise women won’t date him.

“His heart guides him.”

OMG this is SO LAME!!!  Can you get any more cliché!?!

“He lives his life with passion and is not a wound-licking victim or an ego-driven control freak.”

When you (women like the author) are through with him, he will be a passionless, wounded, shadow of his former self.  His ego will be destroyed.  Men Beware!!!

“He understands the territory of love and shares it with you.”

This is SO CHEESY!!!  What the hell does it even mean?

“He appreciates and respects you and you feel a warm glow of happiness when you think of him.”

Thbbbttt!! (chokes back a laugh).  Jack Handey could not come up with something better.  Notice how appreciation and respect are only expected from the male; all she has to do is sit back and ‘feel a warm glow of happiness’.  Blaahhh!!  What a lazy, entitled, selfish beeyotch!!!

Now she proceeds to name the counterparts of the men she listed above (by simply adding an ‘un-‘ prefix – the way a grade schooler would).

“The un-ScarMan: He is not stuck in the past and is here with you, now. He wants to learn about you because he is interested.”

HE wants to learn about YOU, because as we know, it’s all about her.  Who cares what his goals and interests are as long as he isn’t broke.

“The un-SideMan: He is devoted to you and not lots of chicks on the side. He puts his whole heart into your relationship.”

Who said ‘lots of chicks’?  A married man or a man living with someone usually only has one chick (maybe 2 if he’s a total player).  Unless he is a polygamist or is a serial dater (not cheating), most men don’t have time for that many women if they are living with another one already.

Notice how she says ‘HE puts HIS whole heart into “YOUR” relationship.  And what will the woman contribute?  I’m almost done with this article and I’m still waiting to find out.

“The un-CrazyMan: He has enough reference in reality to be able to share your world with enthusiasm. He is balanced and rational.”

As already stated, if you need to be told that someone not based in reality is not good “mate material” then you may need professional help yourself.

“The un-GuyMan: He is honest about his sexuality and loves you because you are a woman with a woman’s body.”

OMG give me a friggin’ break.  Enough with the gay-ness already.  This is the oldest trick in the book – calling a man gay to make him feel insecure so that he feels the need to prove his masculinity.  These sort of shame tactics are what feminazis use when arguing with men (you’re gay, you can’t get a date, you have a small penis, you live in your parent’s basement, etc.).  Nice try June Marshall, but no one is falling for it.

“The un-YAPpie: He can support himself and does not expect you to be a Sugar Mama. He has plans and goals for what he wants from life and how he wants to contribute to others.”

But do you expect him to be a sugar daddy?  And as far as the comment regarding ‘contributing to others’, by ‘others’ she means HER. (don’t forget man #7 and how alimony to others is bad)

“The un-OLMan: He has had a life vision and continues to work on it, even when he is up in years. He can support himself and stays young-at-heart, though he has the wisdom that comes with age and experience.”

She contradicts herself again.  According to #6 above ("OLMan"), she claims this person has grown older but not wiser.  Here, she claims that wisdom comes with age (and experience).  So which is it, stupid?  We’ll I’ll tell you: to quote an old roman proverb, “Wisdom comes NOT with age, but with good sense.”

Hopefully his age and experience has taught him to avoid gold-digging beeyotches like her.

“The un-BagMan: He might have some baggage, as everyone who has lived has, but he does not inflict it on you so that it takes over your life. He has handled it cleanly and fairly so that it does not keep coming back to haunt him and you.”

Well at least she agrees that everyone has baggage (at first she made it seem that anyone with baggage was not worth dating.  Or maybe she only meant MEN with baggage).  I’m actually surprised she ended her sentence with “him and you” (I was expecting only the “you”).

And the author ends her juvenile article with the following statement:

“Even the sex sours when you lose complete respect for a man. Assert your Badass Chickness and move on to someone who has the ability to really love you!”

Actually, the sex sours once the man commits.  Why do you think guys like #2 (above) exist?

And as far as ‘losing respect for a man’, it seems that many women never had any respect for them to begin with.  Pretty hard to lose something you never had.

So to sum up: June Marshall's article is complete bullshit.  I would advise women to ignore it and men to be wary of people like the author.

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(below is the original article, in its entirety, without my comments)

http://www.badasschick.com/where-have-all-the-good-men-gone/

WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE?

As a Badass Chick, you are an intelligent, independent, beautiful woman, confident in your sexuality. But if you have been floating around on the dating scene, you might be asking yourself, “Where have all the good men gone?” From my many years of experience dating, mating, marrying, being friends with and divorcing men, I can tell you: It takes patience to find someone you can respect, whose heart is open to you, and you can be with without driving you up the wall.

Good mate-material is out there. But, while you are looking, don’t waste your time and money on The Dirty Seven. The Dirty Seven are dead-ends and no matter how much hope, love, and denial you throw in their direction, they won’t change. There’s have too much of a pay-off being the rotters they are.

Underlying Problem
The underlying problem with The Dirty Seven is a kind of selfishness that makes them incapable of giving your needs fair play. They lack empathy (the ability to put themselves in your shoes). They are looking for a relationship like you, but they are not capable of sustaining one.

Who are these Guys?
I categorized the Dirty Seven the way the scientist or naturalist describes species of insects or birds. They have stayed true to type for over twenty years of testing in the laboratory of society. Don’t give up your freedom and happiness for these guys. They will always put you and your needs second or last. Read for a brief description of who they are and what you can do about them.

1 ScarMan:
Talks continuously about his ex and the past, to the exclusion of everything else, including you. You feel like saying, “Hello! You are out with me!

If you want to feel first in a man’s heart, throw ScarMan back on the dating beach.

2 SideMan:
Married or living with someone but looking for some excitement on the side, with no intention of creating a real relationship.

Walk away and don’t look back. He wants to use you. If it takes a lie, he will lie to get what he wants, without a thought for the pain he causes. Divorce is expensive, he loves his kids, and he wants the best of both worlds. Don’t think he will leave his wife for you.

3 CrazyMan:
Has so many quirks, a hospital wing of psychotherapists couldn’t figure him out. He’ll drive you nuts if you give him a long-term try, so don’t start with him.

4 GuyMan:
Likes guys better than girls but pretends to be straight. The fact that he is lying to you about it is what makes him one of The Dirty Seven.
Let him go on his journey of discovering his true identity without you.

5 YAPpie:
(Young And Poor) have the benefit of youth on their side but not much else: No money and no job prospects. You pay for everything and drive him around too.
Do less for him. He is a species of parasite that survives by living off of women and will move on.

6 OLMan:
(Old Loser Man) is the YAPpie, grown older but not wiser. He has not provided for his future. He is looking to you to do that for him. He was lazy, selfish, and clueless in his youth and has remained the same in his old age.
Do not get involved with him until you find out where and how he lives. Go there with him. If he is penniless, especially beware of how he lives.

7 BagMan:
Difficult children from different marriages some of whom live with him, multiple alimony payments, and lots of bitterness over past woes are just some of the baggage this man brings to the relationship.
Give up on him before you are left holding the bag.

Good Guys
Let me reiterate, good guys are out there and are worth taking the time to find. The good mate thinks about the “us” before he thinks about himself. The relationship is foremost in his life and he shows you that it is. His life is not about his miserable self, self, self and he wants to do something to make things better in the world instead of being a drain on the system.

He takes care of himself because he has self-respect. Money is not what motivates him. His heart guides him. He lives his life with passion and is not a wound-licking victim or an ego-driven control freak. He understands the territory of love and shares it with you. He appreciates and respects you and you feel a warm glow of happiness when you think of him. He is the exact opposite of all of the Dirty Seven:

• The un-ScarMan: He is not stuck in the past and is here with you, now. He wants to learn about you because he is interested.

• The un-SideMan: He is devoted to you and not lots of chicks on the side. He puts his whole heart into your relationship.

• The un-CrazyMan: He has enough reference in reality to be able to share your world with enthusiasm. He is balanced and rational.

• The un-GuyMan: He is honest about his sexuality and loves you because you are a woman with a woman’s body.

• The un-YAPpie: He can support himself and does not expect you to be a Sugar Mama. He has plans and goals for what he wants from life and how he wants to contribute to others.

• The un-OLMan: He has had a life vision and continues to work on it, even when he is up in years. He can support himself and stays young-at-heart, though he has the wisdom that comes with age and experience.

• The un-BagMan: He might have some baggage, as everyone who has lived has, but he does not inflict it on you so that it takes over your life. He has handled it cleanly and fairly so that it does not keep coming back to haunt him and you.

Be Badass
So don’t be a wimp when one of the Dirty Seven comes your way. Only women with low self-esteem fall for these guys, or continue on with them when they find out what they really are. The Dirty Seven don’t get better. They don’t even want to get better. The payoff for being selfish is great for them. Only the chick loses in this situation. Even the sex sours when you lose complete respect for a man. Assert your Badass Chickness and move on to someone who has the ability to really love you!

June Marshall - is author of The Dirty Seven: Ladies Beware.

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